I knew it!! I don't know why I'm even surprised. I predicted this would happen just because God hates me. Yes, our 5th anniversary and vacation starts tomorrow and so did I. A week early. Christ! Why can't I get a break? So, today, I'm crampy and crabby. You've been warned! But, I took some extra strength tylenol so it's not as bad as it sounds.
The strangest thing happened to me last night at the grocery store. It was very sweet, surreal, and downright bizarre. I went to our little grocery store to get something for dinner. They have three young girl cashiers - probably 19 or 20 years old. I know one isn't yet 21 because every time you go into her checkout lane she has to call over another girl over to ring up the booze. The store wasn't busy at all so I'm checking out and the checkout girl proceeds to have a conversation with me. Mind you, I've been going to this same little store at least twice a week for the past 4 years and we always banter while they're ringing us up. This is what she says:
Check out girl: You have great style. I always notice what you wear and look for stuff like that when I'm shopping Me: Thanks, that's really sweet (while I'm thinking - omg, I hope I don't dress too young looking) Check out girl: I keep telling my Aunt who is about your age, she's 30, that she dresses too old for her age".
And, at first I'm like - WHAT??? Then I'm like, holy shit, she thinks I'm 30!! I'll take it.
Check out girl: Can I ask you a personal question? Oh, I better not, I don't want to make you mad. Me: No, go ahead. Even if I'm offended I won't tattle on you. You have my permission - ask away. Check out girl: Did you used to be real big? Me: Yea, about 2 years ago. You guys aren't very observant are you? Check out girl says to check out girl 2: I knew It! Hey so and so, it IS her.
She then tells me how they had a bet if I was the fat bitch that used to come into the store (I paraphrased - sue me). If I was the same girl or not. The other cashier said, "I didn't think so because it seemed like only a week later you were skinny, so I said no way, it's somebody else."
I guess I should take it as a compliment and leave it at that.
It might shape up to be a good day after all! Because there's only
1 Day
Left until vacation!! While, I'm really excited and ready to get the hell outta town for a few days, the bitch of it is we have to take Mr. Leo to the kennel tonight. And that's excruciatingly hard. He always looks at us like we're abandoning him. But, he was there last year for 6 days so I think he'll be okay. We'll take a blanket from home and some of his toys so he has things around him that are familiar. The kennel we take him to is a great place to keep a dog and they always take such good care of him. They have horses, cows, goats, and other dogs there. And there's a huge area for him to go outside so I shouldn't feel so bad. It'll be like a vacation for him too! I just know that after we drop him off I'm going to cry. I always do. He's my little old man and the best dog I could have ever asked for. I'm going to miss him terribly! Yea, I know, I need to get a grip. It's 6 days! What can I say, I love my Leo.
For the first time since I've started this blog, I can't say what I really want to say and it sucks.
I'm having some issues at work, and as we all know we no longer live in a world where there is free speech. Although I have never stated who I work for and you won't ever get that out of me, it something that I don't feel comfortable discussing, even here where I should be able to express myself in any way shape or form since it is my personal bitch space. We've all heard the horror stories about people who blog, and it usually goes something like this:
My sister’s husband’s brother’s uncle wrote on his blog how much of a jag his co-worker is and how bad the company is being run. Then the big blowhard jackoff managers who employ him read his blog and fired him for insubordination - even though he didn't mention who he works for, where he works, or any details about the actual situation.
Now, I'm not sure how true these stories are, but one thing I don't doubt is that at any given moment anything that you type on these pages are read, compiled and can be used against you. There is no free speech anymore people! It's all a myth. And it’s all an illusion to trick you into thinking it’s for your own good. It’s everywhere – your telephone conversations, your email, even your blogs are being watched and could threaten your very existence. Parents monitor their children’s keystrokes and screen shots the entire time they are using the computer. Why is this? Is it to keep them safe or is it to maintain control? They will tell you it’s for their own safety because of all the perverts out there on the internet. Of course these same children grow up learning that it’s perfectly normal to not have any privacy or freedom since they never had it their entire lives. Or is it because parents are so busy working so they can afford that new BMW, that new 62 inch plasma TV, or that way too extravagant vacation that they just simply aren’t paying enough attention at home?
Any way you slice it, while you’re at work they own you. They can use whatever means necessary to reprimand or fire you at will for whatever reason. We haven’t come very far since the days of slavery – only now they don’t physically beat you, they do it mentally.
On the flip side of the coin, I feel pretty fortunate in my work situation. I have very little issues with it, except for a few lately that I won’t mention. I don’t want to be forced to look for another job because, basically, it’s going to be like this wherever you go. It just sucks that, as a nation, we’ve slowly allowed all of our freedoms to trickle down to very few. There’s a reason that Free Speech is the first amendment to our constitution – and that’s because it is the most important. But, somehow, with the age of technology we’ve lost sight of what should remain free and what shouldn’t. In order for free speech to exist you must be able to accept the views and opinions of others, even if you don’t agree. You also have the freedom to state that you don’t agree and why. There’s no middle ground here, it’s all pretty plain and simple.
Ok, enough of my crazy soap box talk I’m outta here on vacation in:
What a weekend!! Didn't do much, but had a lot to do if that makes sense.
Got home Friday, exhausted. Last Friday just kicked my ass. I had to deal with cranky ass people all day long and traffic on the way home from work just totally sucked ass. As soon as I walked in the door I informed Dennis we will be having pizza for dinner because the kitchen is closed. Singer Chick and Bass Player Guy came over and we got kinda schnocked so that was fun.
Saturday, we had to take Leo to the vet. He didn't like that so much, but did good. Poor old guy has cataracts, so he's not seeing the best anymore. Which, explains a lot really. I tend to believe he's had vision problems his whole life. But, he still sees pretty good - we played the old catch the popcorn game and he can see well enough to catch them in mid air still. He got all his shots and he's good to go to the kennel on Wednesday. Which, is going to be very very hard. I always cry after I drop him off.
Sunday, watched the Bears game. I almost turned it off in the third quarter, after Grossman's interception. I'm like, well, here they are. The Bears - again. Losing by stupidity. But, to my amazement, they rallied together and got the much needed touchdown late in the fourth quarter to win the game. I'm guessing the Viking are still saying, "What the fuck happened?" since they were leading most of the game. I both love and hate games like this. I love 'em when they win, but hate 'em when they lose. Fortunately, this past Sunday, I was on the winning side.
I decided in the third quarter that if the Bears win, I'm going shopping. If they lose, I'm going to stay home and get drunk. Well, we know what the outcome of the game was so we know what I did after it. I didn't spend a lot, about 75 bucks at Maurice's. I bought a black sweater, a black lacy wrinkly shirt, a camisole to go under it, and a white lace long top - which I intend to wear as a possible cover up for my swim suit. You can't have too many cover ups at 43!! I did wind up shortening the camisole. It was way too long - it actually went past the lace shirt - which didn't look good. I also got 20 percent off of the black lacy shirt because it had a very small rip in the seam. No big deal - I have a sewing machine! Tonight, I'll have to take in the skirt that goes with my new swimsuit. I still haven't done that - being the procrastinator that I am.
Alright - who watched the season premier of Desperate Housewives last night? While it was a very interesting episode with a few funny little bits, it was still pretty lame. I mean, I liked it but wasn't Bree already in a dangerous relationship with a killer? Wasn't this done last season? If I were a betting person I would bet that she will wind up pregnant by this guy (obviously, because she's pregnant in real life) and he'll either be a) killed off; b) go to prison; or c) find a better acting gig. I'm thinking that it'll either be A or B because, frankly, ole Kyle Maclahan (or however you spell it) hasn't had a decent gig after the ole Striptease debacle. Although, he was on Sex and the City for a while so that should have paid a few bills for the dude. The very best and key moment of Desperate Housewives came when Bree had her first orgasm and thought she was having a stroke. Wow, poor woman. What, she's like, over 40 and has never had a real orgasm? Poor pent up, sexually frustrated Bree.
The countdown continues!!
3 Days
Until vacation!! And you won't be seeing my sorry ass on this blog for 6 whole days. And, I know you're saying thank God because this one here is long enough to carry over for 2 weeks.
Oh my god I can't believe that game!! Were the Bears intentionally trying to give me a heart attack because, seriously, I think they just shaved about 10 years off my life!!
But, they won against Minnesota, rallying in the fourth quarter to finally get the lead, then lost the lead, then regained it back very late in the fourth quarter - in the last 2 minutes to be exact!! Next stop - Seattle next Sunday. At least it's in Chicago! But, I'm guessing it'll be a tense game nonetheless.
So, I made it into work today, on time, despite it storming like a bitch the entire trip. And despite that I got soaking fucking wet pumping my gas then going in to pay for it this morning. And to make matters worse, it was pouring when I got to work and got even more soaked walking into my office. What really pisses me off is I was having such a great hair day! Now, it's all matted to my head in a very unattractive nature and I'm waiting for it to dry before I even touch it. And the thing that really irritates me is that as soon as I sit down at my desk at work, the rain stops. Why??? I guess it's that damned Murphy and his stupid laws.
One nice thing about driving into work in a storm is that, for some unknown reason, there wasn't much traffic. I'm not sure if that's because it's a Friday, or if it's because it's raining - who the fuck knows. It's probably another one of Murphy's stupid fucking laws.
Dennis just called - rained out. Again. But, he did work 4 days this week and since he did go to the job site this morning while they waited the storm outt, he gets 2 hours of show up time today. Which puts him right at 40 hours for the week. Perfect! Exactly what we were hoping for before leaving for vacation in
6 Days
That means a full paycheck, which also translates into us having a good time versus having an ok time.
Sister update: she's doing well, except she still has problems using her left hand. The doctor informed her that it could get better, but it might not. Only time will tell. She's still going to need plastic surgery on the wounds, since they are God awful ugly. I'm a little bit nervous to see her next week and see how bad it actually is. Chloe is doing much much better. She's up to her old tricks - playing rough with Sophie (my sister's other puppy) and getting loose from her backyard. Not bad for a dog who only two weeks ago wasn't supposed to make it through the night.
Have a safe and good weekend fucknuts! And, don't forget to post a comment here every now and then just so I know you're still listening to my bullshit.
Good God, the drive into work today was so fucking stressful! I was 23 minutes late this morning. It took me a full hour and 15 minutes to drive to work. And it's only 18 miles! If they don't finish all this construction soon, somebody is going to get hurt. Either that, or I'm going to have a heart attack. Don't believe me? You try driving in the Chicago suburbs. That's right, the fucking suburbs. Not the city, not getting into the city, but driving from one shit town to five shit towns Southeast. The problem is so many people have moved to the Northwest Chicago suburbs but they haven't done squat about expanding any highways to get there, or get back. So, we're stuck driving on mostly two lane roads and hoping for the best. All it takes is one dillhole to get into a wreck and fuck the whole thing up. I think it's worse now because of all the fucking kids going to school - meaning a ton of buses that you have to get around. What makes this sad is that the school buses stop every block to pick up kids. Christ, I can remember when I took a bus to school we still had to walk about 1/2 a mile to get to the bus stop and there was only one stop per every 1/2 a mile. Maybe if these spoiled rotten little shits weren't such pansy whiney asses then maybe there wouldn't be such an obesity problem. Make 'em walk a 1/2 a mile. It would probably do their ass sitting on the couch playing video games until all hours some good. And, people, stop having kids! They're making it hell on people who don't have kids and we're constantly inconvenienced by your kids. There's a reason I don't have kids - because they're a pain in the ass! Ok, I know that's all really really stupid and I really don't mean it. Well, not all of it anyway.
On a good day, it takes at least 35 minutes to drive the 18 miles I have to go. Funny, the drive home is a piece of cake compared to the drive in. It usually only takes about 35 minutes to get home. Where the fuck is the logic in that?
Anyway, as you can tell I'm in a very agitated state today and am looking forward to a much needed break from it all. Which I will get in
7 Days
when I'm sitting by my sisters pool, sitting under the waterfall that goes into her pool, and sucking back some nice foofoo drinks in the jacuzzi at night. And I won't be thinking of you motherfucking suckers that are driving in the hell I'm faced with every day while I'm out shopping and having a good time.
Okay, time to sit back, relax, and know that tonight I'll be home at about 4:10 when all the rest of the assholes are leaving at 5:00.
Well, here we go again. Another work day, another quarter. Inflation you know. So, it's Wednesday. Hump day, some people call it. I'm not quite sure what they are humping, and, really, not sure I want to know but I sure hope it feels good!
I watched Nip/Tuck last night. I'm still trying to figure out this silly show. I have the first season DVD and watched all the episodes, but considering it's in its fourth season, there's some big gaping holes in what has happened between the season finale of the first season and the second episode of the fourth season. I suppose I'll have to just bite the bullet and go out and get the second and third seasons on DVD. I'm such a sucker. I still can't believe that Sean slept with the almost nanny last night. He's worse than Christian! At least Christian is honest about who he is.
Speaking of DVD's, can you still bring a mini DVD player on an airplane without them freaking out on you thinking that you're a terrorist wielding mother fucker?
I'm still fuming about my altercation with a total bitch I had to deal with yesterday. Here's how it went down:
Her: Your certificate of insurance is not compliant Me: Ok, fax over the cert with the revisions you want and we'll take care of it. Her: I already faxed it over this morning and you didn't do it correctly. Me: After we do a certificate we don't retain the original fax. Besides, if it needs to be changed we have to have it in writing so we can show our insured where it came from and what needed to be...(cuts me off) Her: I'm not faxing it again Me: Then how am I going to know what needs to be....(cut off again) Her: It's all in the original fax. Me: For the third time, you'll need to fax it. What needs to be changed? Her: All the text on the second notepad page needs to be included on the cert. Me: What's a notepad page? Her: What, you don't know how to use your own software? Let me talk to somebody who knows what they're doing. Me: I can assure you I know exactly what I'm doing (there are other things I would have rather said, but, I must remain professional). We don't have a "notepad" page on our system. What text on the 2nd page needs to be included? Her: The entire second page. Me: There's, like, 10 paragraphs on that page that describes coverages already included on the certificate. We don't have room on a certificate to put an entire page of text on it that isn't necessary. And, I would have to have it approved through our legal department due to the extent of the terms in the text. Her: It's the only way we'll take it. Call me when you get the fax. Me: (I call her once I get it) I have it, and I'm not sure how we can do this, but let me (cut off again) Her: Who do I need to call in your home office to get this done. (they would kill me if I gave that info out) Me: Nobody. We have to do this through our own office. I'm just not sure how technically (cut off) Her: What, don't you know how to read? What level of school did you com....(I cut HER off) Me: Listen, I don't need to take this shit from you. I'll have you speak to the agent (cut off once more) Her: I will not tolerate being rudely cut off by somebody in your position! I will find out who your boss is and by the time I'm done with you, you won't have a job. (how the fuck does she even know what my position IS?) Me: Lady, you have cut me off on just about every sentence so far and if you (cut off again) Her: I don't know who you are, but you cannot speak to me like this. Me: I'll tell you what, I'll pass this along to the agent and you can talk to him about it Me: *click*
I swear to God, if this stupid ass bitch sorry excuse for a woman calls again today, I don't know if I will be able to hold back. I did tell my boss about it and he laughed. He told me if she calls again, to put her through to him. Great!
Ok, vacation countdown! The number is finally going down...
8 Days
until Texas. Come on, hurry up and get here already! If I don't go on vacation soon, you might be reading about me standing on a clock tower someplace with a semi-automatic weapon.
I had to leave early yesterday from work at around 1:15 to go to the fucking Ophthalmoligst bitch from hell, so I have a stack of work sitting here in front of me this morning. Therefore, today's blog will be short and sweet - just like me. Ok, nothing like me. I'm neither short (at 5'6") nor sweet, as you all know by now.
It's not that I had a great time leaving early yesterday. Yes, the weather was beautiful, no I didn't get to enjoy it. My appointment was for 2:45, they requested I get there the standard 15 minutes early so they can have me sign over my first born (little do they know I don't have one and won't be having one so I guess I showed them). They lead me to this little room and they put this yellow crap in my eyes that burned like hell! Then, they lead me to a waiting room. Where I sit. And I sit. And I sit some more. And the bitch of it is they have all these magazines in this waiting room but I can't see shit because of this yellow piss looking stuff they put in my eyes. So, I sat for an hour (no joke) before they lead me to a chair. Then I sat. And sat some more. For about another 20 minutes. So, now it's about 4:00 and I still haven't been seen by a fucking doctor. The doc finally arrives, and I'm not even kidding - she has the English vocabulary of a 2 year old. I can't understand a fucking word this woman says. She looks in my eye for about 2 minutes and hands me a prescription for some salve crap I have to put in my eye every night. Sweet!!!
Vacation Countdown:
9 Days
So, I'm going to get to work here and hope that I can get it all done before hell freezes over. Because, at the rate that fall is coming (it's mid September and the temp right now is 50 degrees), hell is probably going to be freezing over very very soon. Or, at least it'll feel like it.
Heya blog readers. Hope everybody had a nice, safe weekend.
First things first - how about those Chicago Bears! They had a great game yesterday, beating the crap out of Detroit 34 to 7. Wonder how the Lions enjoyed their crow last night. Did they grill it, bake it, or eat it raw? However they did it, I'll bet the points were low, around 7 to be exact - the number of points they scored! Some of you are thinking - what the hell is she talking about eating crow for? For those of you not in the know, the Lions coach guaranteed a Lions victory - and guaranteed they would score at least 40 points. Of course, they had no idea that they would have had to score 40 points just to win, but that's the way it goes. Grossman, if he stays healthy and keeps it up, could turn out to be a great quarterback. But, only time will tell. It's way too early to be dreaming Superbowl dreams, but we'll continue to see how this season plays out.
We had a somewhat boring weekend. Stayed home Friday night, we out with some friends who had a sister in town on Saturday (which was fun), and I didn't leave the house or take a shower on Sunday. Just lounged around on the ole couch watching football. I still need to check in and see how Dallas did last night. I fell asleep before half time.
It's now less than 2 weeks til vacation time! I'm ready NOW. But, I'm going to keep a countdown to vacation on this blog. As of today, there is:
10 Days
until we depart for Texas and the day we leave is also our 5th wedding anniversary. Then, on Saturday while we're in Texas it's my sister and her husband's 39th wedding anniversary. Yes, 39 years they've been married. I think I'm going to ask them how they've kept it together and still appear very happy after all this time. That's certainly something to strive for!
What football team do you root for and how did they do on Sunday?
... It's finally Friday. It's about fucking time! This week was way too long.
It's sunny today, calling for a high of 78. I can deal with that! The traffic was non-existent this morning - and I can definately deal with that. However, it's not to say that the morning didn't get off to a rough start, nonetheless. I woke up and my left eye was all matted shut. Damn, I hate it when that happens! It's been sore for a few days now and for 2 weeks I had these little lumps in a line right at the crease in my eyelid. It's fine, it looks fine - but a little swollen. The lumps are gone. Luckily, being the woman that I am, can conceal it easily with makeup. It already feels better so I don't think a trip to the ole doc is going to be necessary.
I thought maybe I took a wrong turn and wound up in London this morning. Either that, or a John Carpenter movie. But, it was neither. Just a little thick fog.
One thing that really freaked me out, tho, is on Old McHenry Road - where is everybody?
This is the same road at the same curve just a few weeks ago:
So, I guess I should quit bitching and be happy that it wasn't like this today!
One thing I did on the way into work was listen to what is fast becoming my most favorite CD in the whole wild world - King's X, Ogre Tones. I still can't believe how great it is. They can do it all from hard melodic rock (Open my Eyes), to beautiful slower fare (Fly, Honesty) to more funk (Be Bop). If I could pick out any bass player that I would want to be like, it would easily have to be Dug Pinnick (bass/lead vocals). Although, Ty Taybor's (guitars/vocals) guitar tone is easily one of the best tones in guitar history. They're supposed to be touring in November and they better make a stop in Chicago!! I mean, I haven't seen them since this past May and I need a Dug fix real soon otherwise I'm going to go into shakes and convulsions - and that's never pretty. If you're interested in checking them out (and any of their other 13 albums that have been released over the past 15 years or so) then go here -----> King's X, Ogre Tones. I'm still amazed that these guys never became the biggest band in the world. Then again, we're living in a day and age where Britney Spears can sell millions of records. Well, maybe not so much these days. It just proves my theory that some people in the listening audience has absolutely no taste in music. Ok, I'm done shamelessly promoting my favorite band.
Well, we have no big plans for the weekend. Just going to go out and see a band on Saturday night. Where we're going is a new place in town and is really pretty big. We stopped by there for dinner a few nights ago and they have really decent food too. For you Northwestern Illinoiser's out there, it's called Mulligans in McHenry. Dennis wants to check out the room, see what it sounds like, see what kind of crowd comes in for the prospect of playing there sometime in the near future. Yes, his split from playing in a band only lasted a total of 3 days. But, he's playing with 2 guys that aren't overly wrapped up in Jesus and touring so it's all good. And on Sunday, what else would we be doing besides watching the Bears at their home opener kicking the living shit out of the Lions just like they did the Packers!! *crosses fingers*
What's everybody else up to this weekend?
And so I leave you today with the song lyrics of the day:
King's X - Fly (off Ogre Tones)
No matter what you do always somebody who doesnt like it, doesn't like it no matter what you say always somebody who don't understand it, don't understand it
fly above the rainbow fly across the sea fly across the future fly over me
hey brother find a way around you everyday take care of you take it hey sister virgin eyes stand up and fight the lies take care of you take it
fly above the rainbow fly across the sea fly across the future fly over me
he didn't care for you he isn't there for you and you love him but you don't like him she isn't there for you she puts the blame on you still you need her gonna leave her
... So, what to write about today? I have absolutely no idea. I'm rarely at a loss for words, so I'm kind of in uncharted territory here. Call it Bloggers Block if you will, but for today, let's just swing this mofo.
Absolutely nothing of interest happened yesterday. Could I be becoming, dare I say it, boring? Perhaps I always was but lived in a sea of deep seeded denial.
One interesting tidbit from the Chicago area that I laughed my silly ass off when I heard about it is this: A guy was arrested at O'Hare airport for suspicion of trying to bring a bomb in a bag on a plane. Of course, they had to drop those charges when they discovered it was, in fact, not a bomb but, get this, a penis pump! Yes, that's right. You can't make this shit up. And, here's the kicker, when the baggage checker outer asked him what was in the bag he whispered, "It's a pump." who mistakenly thought he said bomb. He told the police after he was arrested that he whispered it because he was standing next to (get this) his grandmother! Who, I'm sure is mortified at the fact that everybody in the area (and now all of you) know that her grandson has a tiny little penis and is using a device to increase his manhood.
*Note to self: be sure to tell Dennis to leave his pump at home when we go to Dallas in two weeks*
For all you who are trying to lose weight: On a more serious note, one thing that did strike me last night is how we perceive ourselves, mostly physically. That happened as I glanced at the swimsuit pictures from yesterday's entry I thought at first glance that I look fat. Yea, I know. Poor me. It's not that I'm looking for sympathy and, please, don't post here and tell me I'm not fat because I know I'm not. I guess I'm just kind of pointing out that even though you lose the weight and get to goal, and you stay at goal, your weight and body issues don't magically disappear. I think it takes a very very long time, if ever, to not see yourself as a huge piece of whaling blubber anymore. So, the next time you look in the mirror and you see yourself and think that you're fat just think about where you were when you started and where you are now. You might not believe it, but the distortion factor is a real hard thing to shake - even when you reach your goal. Of course, not everybody goes through this except for the silly freaks out there like me (and you know who you are). I guess, as woman, are we ever completely satisfied with our physical selves?
Which brings me to this - many people asked me how the damned freakin' suit (which is a topic I'm really sick of, but still obsessive about) fit in the crotchal region, if it was too tight there. So, without further ado, I will post a picture minus the skirt, which I was too shy to post yesterday. Just so you all know, I'm over it, the fucking thing fits, I'm going to wear it, and I'm going to never mention it ever again. I know what you're thinking - you're saying to yourself right now - thank God, because it's getting annoying.
But, if you didn't want to be annoyed, why are you on MY blog?
... If the morning is any indication on how the rest of the day is going to go, this day is going to suck major fucking ass.
I first have to say how much I absolutely hate getting up to go to work when Dennis is off work. I think it's just because I'm so obnoxiously jealous that he can keep sleeping when I have to start my morning fight to get to work. That, and I know if he's home that means he got rained out - which translates to traffic hell. I finally got up, went to check my bank balance and my internet connection was hosed so I decided to just take a shower and try again later. As soon as I get in the shower and get completely soaking wet I realized I forgot to grab a towel and my bath robe. So, I had to get out of the nice warm water, trucking soaking wet, leaving a trail of water from the bathroom all the way to the hall closet where the bath towels and my robe reside - shivering the entire time. Not a big deal right? I then sit down to do my morning makeup, hair, and clothes routine. I start to dry my hair and what the fuck happens? My blow dryer takes a shit. It just slowed down a little bit and POOF. Out came smoke and the terrible smell of burning plastic. Fortunately, I have a spare - but the downside to this is that the reason I have a spare is because I had to replace the spare with a new dryer due to the fact it stopped dying on high, leaving only low. Oh, well, it's something, right? It just took twice as long to dry so I inevitably left the house running about 15 minutes late. And I still need to gas up the car.
Of course, it's raining again. No big shock there since it's been raining almost non-stop since mid August. I get to the gas station and the big ass gas tanker is blocking half the station. It's okay, though, because there's pumps on the other side. Unfortunately, they're all blocked up with landscapers and their big ass trucks with their big ass trailers taking up two pumps. And if this wasn't bad enough they parked like a fucktard leaving the trailer at an angle blocking the remaining pumps on that side. Asstrouts. So, I have to wait for somebody to finish up on the other side, again, before I can pump my gas. I finally start to pump the gas and I realized about a dollar 25 into it that I'm putting in regular gas. Dennis would have a major meltdown if I put regular in it, so I had to go into the station, pay the buck 25, and ask them to reset the pump. Done, finally!! And I'm on my way.
Once I was about 3/4 of the way into work, I'm sitting at a stop light. I look over at the car next to me (because I'm a freak like that) and there's this guy putting makeup on his eyes. No shit!! I'm like, dude! That's so wrong!! Then he turns his head and looks over at me and at that point I realize it's not a dude at all. It's just a really manly chick! Gross!! Then I'm thinking - you know, there's not enough makeup at CoverGirl to solve this chicks problems. Of course, that gave me my first chuckle of the day.
I actually made it into work only 13 minutes late. And nobody was here when I got in, so nobody is the wiser. Not that it would matter, really. I'm very rarely late to begin with.
Oh, yea, I almost forgot. I got the swimsuit I ordered yesterday. I tried it on and, I thought, it was too tight. Dennis didn't think so. When I told him I'm thinking about returning it he had a hissy and said if I did he would divorce me. I'm thinking that's pretty extreme, but, whatever. Apparently he likes it so I think I'll keep it. The skirt is way too big, though. But I don't have the patience to return it - that's why I have a sewing machine.
As you can tell the skirt is pinned so it wouldn't fall off me. And it's a small!! Christ, I'm about normal size so what do really small people do? Gimme your opinions, the good the bad and the ugly. Tell me what you think....is the suit too small?
... So, it's Tuesday. Which means I have four more full days of work before the weekend. Fuck!! I used to count it in hours, but found that way too depressing by Wednesday afternoon. Ok, so right now I'm looking at 67 hours, 45 minutes until 3:30 Friday. See what I mean?
The boss man was here when I got into work at 7:30. Which means it's going to be a very very long day. He doesn't hassle me at all, so it's not like I mind too much. I just hate having to deal with anybody, in person or via phone much before noon. Well, basically after noon too. Anytime really.
I also received notification that my big ass order from Victoria's Secret is in delivery and all things have shipped. It should arrive on my doorstep by sometime tomorrow. I ordered a swim suit for the Dallas trip at the end of the month, a bra, a pair of underwear, and a top. The fuckers better fit because there's only one thing more annoying that having to wait for the shipping and delivery, and that's having to return the shit and wait for your refund. It's official...I'm an ebayer. Dennis and I put our first action up for bid last night. And it's a doozy. We're selling a butt load of stage lighting truss (check out my auction here). Of course, there are no bids yet. Hopefully, we can get rid of this crap that's doing nothing but taking up space in our basement. The listing is for way less than what it's worth, but it's okay. We didn't pay for it to begin with - it was given to us by Dennis' brother. He gets a percentage of the money if and when it sells. So, cross your fingers for us dear blog readers. Mama needs a new pair of shoes!
What a pain in the ass listing this stuff was. First, we had to inventory all this shit and take pictures, then post it on EBay's not so friendly sellers posting process. See, I was using a Netscape browser which wouldn't let me enter anything in HTML, then I couldn't figure out how to set a reserve. Total pain in the ass. But, if it sells it'll totally be worth it.
I also picked up the fucking village sticker for my broken down car that I got 3 tickets on already and am going to be getting repaired next month (96 Blazer 4WD - way better in the winter than a Mustang, so it should be worth it to fix). Next step is for Dennis to go and get my registration sticker from the DMV. Lucky him! He's off work today and gets to drive to Woodstock to pick up a sticker for me. It almost makes it worth going into work today, just so I don't have to sit in that God forsaken place waiting to be called up to buy a fucking sticker. Has to be done today, though. I have to take in proof of my updaetd registration and village sticker to the cop shop tomorrow and they'll void the stupid ass tickets.
.. As I sit here and ponder how I wasted yesterday watching football, I'm reminded about how I spent my day exactly five years ago today.
2001 was a very stressful year for me, and I think for just about everybody. September 20th is the day I got laid off of my $90,000 a year job. September 28th is the day that Dennis and I got married. December 27th, is the day Dennis and I separated for nine months, and we all know what happened September 11, 2001.
I remember waking up that day and being so excited because I was going in for my final fitting for my wedding dress, meeting with the florist to go over final plans, and I was going to shop for the sexy underthings that brides must endure. We were 18 days from being married and there was still so many things to do. Everybody was coming in from out of town so there were flights to coordinate, hotel rooms to book. My mind was traveling at about a thousand miles a minute. Until I glanced at the TV.
At first, the news only reported that an airplane crashed into the World Trade Center. Wow, I thought, what a freaky accident. And my mind went back to stupid things - like what was I going to wear today, how do I want to do my hair for my wedding, did we do the right thing inviting so and so when they don't get along with these nitwits over at this table? I remember sitting down and starting to make a list of everything I needed to get done that week when I looked up at the TV again. This time, at that precise moment I looked up, a second airplane slammed into the second tower of the World Trade Center. I remember it being surreal, like it really wasn't happening. This has to be one of the biggest coincidences in the history of all history - two planes crashing into two buildings that closely together. But my mind knew differently. It was no coincidence.
I sat there glued to the TV, like so many of us did not believing what I was seeing. Then the other two planes, one crashing into the Pentagon building, the other crashing in a field. Dear God, who could do such a horrible thing? Then the towers toppling down one floor at a time until there was nothing left. The shock of that day is something I will never forget. We, in the United States of America, were being attacked.
I was fortunate enough to not know anybody that had suffered any losses that day. It seemed like it was almost something out of an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. But it wasn't. It was real. Too real. And I can't imagine the anguish that the families and friends of all the people that died that day went through then and are going through now. I pray that it never happens again, but someplace deep inside my heart I know this isn't the end. We must continue to go after the people responsible for these total acts of cowardice and not give up until they are defeated. Because next time, I might not be so lucky. It might be somebody I know and I love....might even be me.
Where were you? What were you doing on September 11, 2001?
... Yesterday, I gave the top 10 changes family and friends go through when you quit smoking. I think it's only fair that today, I give the top 10 benefits of smoking. But more on that later.
First I have to tell you about what I discovered on my way to work this morning. And I know what you're thinking and I'm taking great pleasure with the fact that you, dear blog reader, are completely wrong. I'm not going to complain about traffic or about how this assclown over here or that dildo over there pulled out in front of me, mooned me, did disgusting gestures with his tongue or otherwise lacked any sense of driving ability at all. No, I'm going to discuss how this morning I realized that I am, in fact, one of those stupid ass drivers on the road that I love to bitch non-stop about.
I'm driving along, minding my own business, when I look down at my speedometer and realize that I am, in fact, driving at about 83 miles an hour in a 50 mph zone. Probably not the best thing in the world to do, considering I'm on court supervision for the lamest ticket ever. And, given the fact that I am driving a bright as the motherfucking sun at 6:00am after being up until 5 partying all night long yellow car, I should probably tame my own sloppy ass aggressive driving behavior. So, I slowed down to about 7 mph over the speed limit. Ok, I'm a liar. 10 mph over the speed limit. Hey, I gotta start somewhere and at this speed I wasn't even passing anybody up!
Now, onto the Top 10 benefits of smoking. 10. You get more sick days off of work. 9. You don't have to worry about losing money in the stock market since you have nothing left to invest since smokes are up to, what, 5 bucks a pack now? 8. Where else can you get a mini vacation like the one you get at the hospital? Stay in bed all day and watch TV! 7. When you get an x-ray of your chest you can have hours of fun connecting the dots. 6. Your family will be able to take that cruise they've been dreaming of with your life insurance money 5. You can take that money you've been investing in your 401k since you won't make it to retiremement anyway. 4. To feel good, knowing no one else can get hurt from this cigarette, you're really taking one for the team. 3. Smokers are less likely to get Alzheimer's - they don't get that old. 2. It's a cheap way to take a vacation, only 5 dollars to get to Marlboro country. 1. If you get throat cancer, you get that cool voice-box with it! Won't that be fun at parties!
Happy Friday and have a fun and safe weekend everybody!
... So, as many of you already know, I gave up one thing in my life that I loved but didn't love me back at all. Smoking cigarettes.
I know, I know, it's a great thing to quit such a disgusting habit. But, still, I miss it. I still crave for them in a huge way some days. Other days, I don't even think about it. Yesterday, it took everything I had not to go and buy a pack. And I resisted. Today, I don't care and I don't even want one. Of course, if I had one in my previously yellow stained fingers I would probably have to light it, take a deep breath of smoke, exhale it, then regret it.
Of course I did the usual things people do when they quit smoking. I figured out how much money we are saving, since both me and my husband quit. I figure we officially quit about 186 days ago, and we both smoked about a pack and a half a day. So, between the two of us, that's 3 packs a day at 186 days - that's 558 packs of cigarette. How much are cigarettes today? I'll figure about four dollars a pack. So, 558 times 4 equals 2,232. So, two thousand, two hundred and thirty two dollars - that's how much money we've "saved" since we "quit".
There have been times, I will confess, that I have smoked since we quit. You know, the weekend excuse, the drinking excuse, whatever I could come up with. And it would be like I quit all over again the next day. So, I have to remind myself every now and then of the benefits of quitting smoking. Friends and family also go through changes when somebody they love quits smoking. So, without further adieu, I will now share my the top 10 changes in my family and friends since I quit smoking:
10. I'm no longer the "butt" of non-smoker's jokes. 9. My sister can't find me in stores now when we get separated shopping since I'm not hacking and coughing 8. My co-worker can no longer tell by the cigarette stench that I'm coming when I'm a mile away 7. My friends & family said I stunk when I smoked. Since I quit smoking and can smell I think they stink 6. Kissing my husband is great now! We don't taste like the inside of an ash tray 5. When we visit smokers, they make *us* go outside while they smoke inside 4. When I go to visit my grandmother I don't have to ask to share her oxygen 3. My dad has put the funeral plans on hold 2. My mother-in-law doesn't have to go to church anymore. She got the miracle she was praying for 1. My dog wants his breath-freshening doggie biscuits back
... And I'm not talking about screwing around with somebody else, as in fucking around. There have been books and volumes written about the evils of a cheating man or woman. I'm talking more in a broad sense. But, I suppose that people who cheat in other aspects of their lives are way more likely to hop up and down on a strange monster as well. Let's start this by explaining what I witnessed today and what got me thinking about this very stupid topic. Ok, I admit. I cheat. I speed when I'm in a hurry, I'll make a left turn at a turn lane way after the yellow turned to red, and I'll snarf up a parking spot by following people to their cars. That last one? People look at you really strange, like you're stalking them by the way. It's a lot of fun, I suggest you try it. I digress...
There's one stop light on my way to work every morning that is usually very backed up with people making a left hand turn. Of course, if you're going straight you don't have to wait behind 30 cars to get through the light so this is what people will do to cheat this light. They will go straight, then turn around about 1/8 mile down the road and then come back and make a right at the light - getting ahead of about 30 other suckers who are still waiting. Is this cheating or is it just a smart move in traffic? Let's take this scenario one stage further. Let's suppose you're not in a car. You're in a grocery store. And it's a Saturday. And the store is packed with frazzled housewives, screaming annoying kids throwing temper tantrums because bitch ass mom won't let them eat the cookies in the store, and a few male stragglers here and there. You're in a big hurry. Would you cut in front of a line of 5 people waiting for the grocery store cashier? Probably not. And not because you don't want to and you wouldn't do it, given the opportunity. It's because those harried housewives would kick your ass right out the automatic opening doors and onto the curb if you tried that shit.
So what's my point you ask? Well, the point is that a housewife is less likely to kick your ass if you're in your car than in a grocery store I suppose. Or my point is that people who cheat usually deserve to get their asses kicked. But, really, it's neither one. The point is that if you're going to cheat, make sure that the cop who is sitting taking radar in the bank parking lot right in front of where you just made an illegal U-Turn to get ahead of traffic isn't looking.
... Wow, it's Tuesday. But, at least it's not Monday, right? I wasted Monday. I didn't do a fucking thing. I didn't leave the house, not once on Monday. I needed the recovery time. That's the problem with three day weekends. You start out on Friday night after work and you try to squeeze in everything that you wanted to do since Memorial Day. Only problem is, by Monday you're so wrecked that all you want to do is sleep. And that's exactly what I did. They do call it labor day, but labor is the one thing I avoided. So, when's our next holiday anyway? Thanksgiving? Fuck!! But, this will really piss you off, I get to go on vacation at the end of the month. So there!!
My sister is doing better. She's at home and is resting. Her daughter, son in law and two other grandkids came from North Carolina to visit her so I'm sure that lifted her spirits. Chloe had surgery on Saturday and did very well. So, thankfully, I'm happy to report that they are both doing much better. My sister will need to have plastic/reconstructive surgery on her arm, but, fortunately, there wasn't any nerve, tendon, or bone problems resulting from the attack. But, I think the emotional scars will take much longer to heal.
Going to work today was especially hard since my husband got rained out and was at home when I left. I hate that. It makes me want to play hookey and call in sick and hang out with him all day. But, nooooo...instead I had to drive on rainy roads (again) and haul my ass into work. Then I get the pleasure of going grocery shopping tonight after work because I was too fucking lazy this weekend to get anything done. Got a lot of drinking done, but that's about it! We went to see a friend's band Sunday night, which was cool because he's a good drummer. Unfortunately, I wasn't impressed at all with the singer or song selection they were playing at all. Which, kind of sucks considering they are extremely popular and really pack a crowd. Just further proves my theory that most of you dimwits are completely tone deaf and wouldn't know good music if it came and bit you right on your musically inept ass. I mean, seriously. Some of you bought Britney Spears and Backdoor Boys shit somewhere along down the line. Don't even try to deny it!
Well, now that I completely bored your ass reading this shit I'm supposing I should probably actually try to be productive today and get some shit done at work. Any bets on how long that will last? I better start by going and getting massive amounts of caffiene.
.. Was attacked last night. In Texas. By 2 pitbulls.
Last night, my sister's 5 year old grandson was visiting and told her that Chloe (one of her pomeranians, she has 2) needed to go outside. So, he was going to take her, but changed his mind and wanted to sit with Grandpa so my sister took the dog out.
My sister decided she wanted to water the flowers in the back yard, but the hose was on the side of the house so she went to go turn on the spicket, holding the dog. When she turned around there were 2 big pits standing there growling at her. She was trapped between the locked from the other side big wooden gate to the back yard and her garage and the neighbors house.
There were bushes so she tried to jump into the bushes but the pits jumped in after her. They got ahold of her left arm, both of them, and wouldn’t let go trying to get to Chloe. My sister was screaming and the neighbor came outside because he was leaving to go someplace and hears her screaming. He tried kicking the dogs trying to get them off of her and they wouldn’t. So, he grabbed a bb gun out of the garage and shot one of ‘em. They ran off then. He went to the door and got my BIL (he didn’t hear a thing) and said he would take Chloe to the animal hospital and he called an ambulance for my sister.
She has extensive damage to her left arm which will, from what the initial doc said, be going through several surgeries to correct. They temporarily stitched the inside tissues together, but will have to wait to do anything more to see if there is any infection, or if the tests came back rabid on the dogs. She should be seeing a vascular and a plastic surgeon sometime today. She probably won’t go home for a few days.
Chloe was in really bad shape, poor little thing. She has swelling in her brain so it was a wait and see situation overnight. The vet wasn’t too optimistic last night, but my BIL stopped by to see her anyway. Chloe responded slightly by his voice but said they would know more today.
My dad told me a little bit ago that Chloe is doing much better. My BIL stopped by about an hour ago and Chloe woke up and licked his hand. And that’s a great sign, according to the vet.
My sister is so freaked out. All she can think of is “what if it would have been Logan (the 5 year old) out there instead of me.”. She was crying on the phone with me, poor thing. I just hope she’s not going to be scared to go outside anymore.
The neighbors of the pit owners have said that they don’t even go out in their backyard anymore because they are afraid of these dogs and had called Animal Control just a couple weeks ago complaining about them. The owner told his neighbor (he just moved in this house 2 weeks ago) that he found them and was only holding onto them until he could find a shelter for them. The neighbors don’t believe it because they said that the dogs were so protective of the yard the the owners that he couldn’t have just found them 2 weeks ago. Edited from earlier to include more detail. Now that I'm actually able to think about this at all without freaking out.
... Holy hell!! It's a Friday before a 3 day weekend!! Yea, I know. I'm trying too hard to sound convincing, aren't I? It's not that I'm happy - Christ, I'm happy just not having to go to work for 3 days. But, I'm bummin' out big time. I think it's because Labor Day marks the end of the summer. And I'm a summer girl. And I know what's coming up.
Oh, it starts innocently enough. You wake up in the morning and there's dew on the lawn. You need a sweater or a jacket in the morning, but by mid morning it's usually around 70 degrees or so. But that doesn't last long. It's replaced by the air becoming more crisp in the morning and staying that way most of the day. Next thing you know the leaves are tumbling down and you're stuck raking your fucking lawn twice a week. Unless, you're like me, and just let them lay there (hey, it's natures insulation naysayers!!). At this point, I'll be completely depressed because the days of driving topless (the car, morons) are indeed over. Then all of a sudden you've got little shits dressed up in ridiculously lame and most often times cute little costumes ringing your doorbell and begging for candy. Then it's all downhill from there. It's November, the air is really frigid by now and you might even get some snow around here by then. But fuck December, January, February and most of March. Really, fuck everything until around May for that matter because it's all going to be cold and dreary and just basically suck.
Alright, so there's the things that I hate about what is coming up. Dare I mention the things that are really cool that are coming up? Because I really need to keep telling myself this shit. So, right now there's 3 days off. Yes, the weather is going to be crappy but I can get a lot of stuff done around the house. And tonight I'm going out to dinner with a girlfriend and her 2 daughters. At the end of September is Dennis and my 5th wedding anniversary and we're going to spend it visiting my family in Texas. We also have the Weight Watchers Newbie trip coming up - which it's looking more and more like it will probably be early November, from the responses I've been getting back. And, with the help of Kim we're going to be busy organizing this little get together. I just hope I don't fuck it up too bad.
Dennis is wanting to host a Halloween party this year. Which would be fun so I say why not? It's a great excuse for him to get off his ass and get some stuff done around the house that we've been putting off for a year now. Then there's Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Dennis birthday in February, my birthday in March.....then SPRING!!! And it all starts up all over again...
So, maybe there is some optimist in me after all. But don't get all up in my Cheerio's just yet. The sarcastic, pessimisticly jaded Sue hasn't left the building quite yet.
