Wow. I'm so tired this morning! I could have slept all day.
But with good reason. I had another migraine yesterday. Started at around 1:30 in the afternoon and lasted, oh, until I woke up this morning. But, I think I'm seeing a pattern here and I know what it's all about. The one I got last month as also on the first day of "the curse" (as my mother jokingly called it). And the same was true last month. Great.
And I felt like hell last night. So bad, as a matter of fact, that my mind was thinking the dumbest thoughts. Seriously stupid thoughts. Thoughts like the sooner I get off this planet, the better I'll be. It didn't help that Dennis was very irritated last night by other things and then got irritated with me over something silly. So, I was basically laying there, crying, feeling sorry for myself, and thinking my life is a joke. Which, I can't deny that. I mean, honestly, what the hell have I got to show for being on this planet almost 45 years? Absolutely nothing. And why bother taking care of myself at all? Who the fuck wants to live to 80 years old anyway?
Apparently my father. Because tomorrow that's how old he'll be. So Happy Birthday Dad! Anyway, back to my sorry ass. I really can't imaging living that long. Mostly because nobody will be around to take care of me. Not having kids, at that point, will be something that my old ass will regret. Who am I going to go live with when I can't even change my own diaper anymore? If I'm so "fortunate" to live that long I'm sure it'll be a state retirement home, baby. Where I'll sit in a bed of my own feces covered in bed sores from head to toe. At least by then I'll be so feeble I won't remember that I used to be almost 45 years old and still had 35 years until experiencing that kind of joy.
See how optimistic I am? I'm loaded with cheery thoughts today.
Hey, it's FRIDAY. I should be jumping up and down, right?
NOTE: hey, blogger people, why the fuck is my spell check button broken? Fix it please. Thanks.
Grumpy gus! I have been there more than I can count. But I know you do bring lots of joy and pain to the folks on the newbie board. Ha Ha.
I am pissed about the spell check too. Don't these people know I can't spell.