I really wanted to hurt a certain woman this morning. Which is why it's good that they don't allow me to carry a weapon of any kind.
The train this morning was pretty full. Which is pretty rare. So, this woman gets on the train and elects to sit in the same seat as me. Each seat can hold two people, but, normally, there's enough seats that everybody can have one to themselves. Today was not that day.
The first thing I notice about this woman is she's wearing this god awful, ugly, huge, annoying bracelet that has all the clanky charms and bells. Bells! Yes, I said bells! I mean, seriously, what is she a fucking cat? Anyway, she decided to do her nails right there. And the shit smelled so strong I have no idea what it was made out of. My guess, some low grade acid. And the whole time she's painting her nails (on the train, no less, with it bouncing up and down) her fucking bracelet made for cats ringing and clanking. Christ! So, she finally finishes this and decided now would be a good time to apply some perfume she had tucked into her little purse. And, as she's spraying it all over her body she managed to flank me as well. And this shit smelled of pure gasoline.
And I start hacking. I'm wheezing and coughing up a storm and this bitch has the nerve to look at me in disgust and say:
You know, that cough sounds really nasty. You really should see a doctor.
Yes, you read that right. She says this. I told the bitch:
No, I just need to punch somebody who's idea of fun is doing their nails and applying perfume while sitting next to somebody who's allergic to your dime store trash polish and perfume.
Okay, I really had a lot of other things that I could have said, like:
Fuck you bitch. Get your fucking perfume, nail polish, and 20 pound bracelet out of my fucking seat!
But, I showed some restraint. Luckily, my stop was next so I only had to sit next to her for a few more minutes then I was outside in sweet relief. And I can still smell that shitty crappy cheap dime store perfume still.
