Well, I made it to my endocrinologist appointment yesterday. And actually got there about 20 minutes early. Which means you get to sit around on your ass reading crappy magazines for a half an hour before they call you in, right? Well, I don't know how crappy their magazines are because as soon as I got there they brought me right in.
My doctor was waiting as well as another "visiting" doctor who was quite a bit younger than my doctor. Where was he visiting from? I don't have a fucking clue because I never thought to ask until after I left.
Now, I pose a stupid question (don't worry, I'll get to the question soon). I can go days without a phone call on my cell. I think the most amount of minutes I've used in our shared plan is about 300 a month - and that's in a good month. My husband - not so much. Anyway, I digress, the doctor asks me how I'm feeling and all that shit, takes my blood pressure which is fine, taps my knees and elbows with that little hammer looking thing and I guess everything was fine what that too. Then he gets out the needle. Great. Can't wait. So, he puts the little rubber band thingy around my arm (don't ask me what it's called because not only don't I remember, I don't care), swipes my inside elbow with some alcohol swab and sticks it in. Nothing. No blood going into the little vampire vile. Great. Now what? My left arm doesn't have any blood in it at all or what? I mean, there wasn't even any blood from the needle itself. It's like my left arm was drained and void of all blood. Very strange.
Anyway, you guessed what happens next. The doctor says, "Let's try the other arm.". Yea, okay, fine, whatever. What if that arm doesn't have any blood either? Does that mean I'm dead or what? He then proceeds to begin to stick me in the left arm and what happens? You guessed it. My cell phone starts ringing. I ignore it. Then the doctor gets a call. Then I get another call on my cell phone. What the fuck? I get, maybe, 2 calls a week that aren't my husband on the fucking thing and somebody decides to call me as I'm getting stuck with a needle? The doctor gets off his call and starts, again, to stick my right arm. And my cell phone rings again. Then as he's sucking my blood into the vampire vile, my cell phone chirps alerting me of a voicemail message. Christ. I hear a voice in my head that says, "Would somebody please shut the fucking cell phone off for the love of God?". Only, it's my cell phone and my arm is pinned down bleeding into a tube and I can't get to it. The doctor looks at me, and I can tell he's slightly annoyed. Oh well - serves the bastard right for having to stick me twice, right?
He did write me a prescription for my current dosage of Synthroid but told me not to fill it until I hear back from his office. You know, in case they need to change the dosage - as if that ever happens. Okay, it happens - every time I get a prescription for a refill they raise the dosage.
Anyway, I know this post is pretty manic at first glance - and probably on second glance too. But, fuck! What do you want from me? I obviously have no blood running through my system. That would make anybody manic, wouldn't you think?
Oh, and happy Slutoween. Or is it Halloween? Hey, don't give me shit. Halloween IS the day that girls can dress like hookers and no other girl can give them shit about it, right?
OK, I have to go through the same thing at my Dr's office b/c of my thyroid and nothing like that's ever happened to me!
I've had my giggle for the day. (sorry, can't help it)