All I did was housework. And dress shopping for a wedding this coming weekend - my niece - my brother's daughter. Not my other niece. But I'll get to that in a minute.
I intended on not buying a dress for this wedding and wearing something I already have. But, in an attempt to find something in my closet that is suitable that fits, I found that there just isn't anything that will do. Which, I guess is a good thing since I'm going through one of my fat phases. You know how that goes - you feel like a blimp but you really aren't. Yes, I still get those and they haven't let up for a little while now. My weight hasn't changed - this morning still at 116.6 but why do I feel like I'm gaining weight and imagining everything is too tight? Is this just a normal phase or am I truly insane, like everybody says I am?
Anyway, my sister and her lovely daughter decided to join me for dress shopping since they are going next weekend as well. Everything went great, for a while. Until I chose a dresses that my niece deemed "not appropriate for my age". Of course, her being 24 years old, she knows all about what is appropriate for an old geezer like myself. So, I proposed this - go out there and find something that you deem age worthy for an old bitch like myself. She comes back with an ensemble that would be more appropriate for the Grandmother of the Bride. Even the sales clerk shot her a nasty look and said that I would look like Grandmother Death in that getup. So, I went out and looked for myself and found another dress that I actually liked a lot more than the first. It's very simple - solid chocolate brown v-neck with braiding on the straps. And I already have about 3 pairs of shoes I can choose from to wear with it so it was an obvious choice. Of course, my niece in her infinite 24 years of wisdom, told me she would be embarrassed to be seen with me in that dress because of how low cut it is. So, me, being the smart ass that I am, told her when she goes out and spends $5500 on boobs she can wear whatever she wants. It's nowhere near obscene, but it does do a nice little showcase on the newly purchased cleavage.
The salesgirl, meanwhile, sees me in the dress and tells me to just smack the little shit until she bleeds because it looks great on me. Which is exactly what I wanted to do in that instance. So, I buy the dress and get the hell out of there before I wind up in jail for aggravated assault. When I get home my sister calls me and tells me that her daughter bought the first dress that she deemed inappropriate for me and then it all made sense. She didn't want ME to buy it because she wanted it for herself! All she had to do was say she wanted the dress and I wouldn't have cared - I would have found something else!
Getting back to the checkout counter, I did something that really backfired on me. The salesgirl tells me I can save another 10% on any purchase I make today if I applied for a JC Penny's credit card. The dress was already on sale - originally $70 dollars, down to $45 dollars, an additional 10% put it at - fuck, I don't know. It's too early for math! Anyway, I'm all about saving money so I say sure, what the fuck, apply away believing that they won't actually accept me because department stores never do. To my surprise, she comes back and says, "Oh, you are approved for a $500 dollar line of credit.". So, great, another fucking credit card. Just what I need! Oh well. I got the discount and didn't have to pay for the dress yesterday which left me enough money to buy a matching bra.
OKAY if you only paid $5500 for those puppies, I wanna know who your surgeon is because I know people who have spent wayyy more and had shit results! I don't need boobs but I need other work done!
He's been a member of the American Board of Plastic Surgeons since the early 70's and really knows his stuff!!
He's the only surgeon I could find that was willing to do transax incision (armpit incision) because it required more skill than nipple or crease incisions.
Also, what's funny is he was the least expensive out of all my consults and had the most experience and agreed with what I wanted (the other 2 TOLD me what I wanted).
Also, the price goes up if you're also getting a lift. and now that silicone is available again it's more expensive than saline.
OKAY if you only paid $5500 for those puppies, I wanna know who your surgeon is because I know people who have spent wayyy more and had shit results! I don't need boobs but I need other work done!