Last night, after watching Grey's Anatomy, I decided that I really should write the next episode.
They are making everything way too obvious - as in, who didn't see that one coming a thousand feet away? I mean, look at the previews for next week! Who didn't see McSteamy hitting on Meredith coming? This is what I would like to see, if I wrote the next episode:
Cut to Meredith sitting at a bar, drunk as usual, looking to screw anything in her path after being rejected, once again, by our own Dr. McDreamy:
Meredith:Oh, McSteamy, I'm so drunk. And so easy. Let's go to your place. McSteamy:Meredith, I'm sorry. I can't do that. I don't fuck bad actresses. Meredith:Well, what do you call your affair with Addison then? McSteamy:Meredith, she starred with Will Farrell in Kicking and Screaming. She was robbed out of that Academy Award. Meredith:Well, I was in Old School with Will Farrell so I fail to see your point. McSteamy:She was also on the very first episode of ER, so as pretend doctors go she has you beat by about 12 years. Meredith:Fuck. Rejected again. Maybe I should just screw George again. Oh, damn, he's gay. I forgot.
Cut to Meredith leaving with some random guy she just met 10 minutes ago. In walks McDreamy and sits next to McSteamy:
McDreamy:Hello Dr. McSteamy. You're looking so hot tonight. Do these scrubs make my ass look fat? McSteamy:Ummmm....ok, Dr. McDumbass. What do you want? McDreamy:Well, I got to thinking about why I keep screwing up with women and I've come to a very startling conclusion. McSteamy:And what's that Dr. McAsstrout? McDreamy:That all the woman find you incredibly sexy, and so do I! I'm really in love with you. I can't help it. It's just the way your skin glistens in the moonlight. McSteamy:Oh, Jesus, Dr. McSucksdick. First of all, it's 4 o'clock and there's no moonlight. Secondly, I'm not gay. I coulda had Meredith just now but I don't fuck bad actresses, or bad actors. I remember you from Can't Buy Me Love. McDreamy:You couldn't get Meredith? Everybody's had her. You must be gay. McSteamy:No, I just have taste.
Cut to George walking into the bar, longingly gazing at Callie from a far. McDreamy walks up to George.
McDreamy:Hey, George, why are you staring at Callie. You know you're gay, right? George:I know that. But, I'm an actor and I'm playing my role. As disturbing as it may be. Disgusting Breeders! McDreamy:George, why don't we quit lying to each other. Take me home and make love to me you sexy beast.
And they leave. In walks Izzy and sits at the bar.
McSteamy:Izzy. Just the woman I've been waiting for. Izzy:You've only been here 5 minutes. I'm the only woman besides Meredith here. And you've already screwed Callie so there isn't many challenges here besides me. McSteamy:5 minutes is all it takes. How about you and me - we'll go out, get some dinner, have some sex, you know - see what happens. Izzy:That is the rumor Dr. 5MinuteMan. Didn't you just hit on Meredith? McSteamy:Naw. I turned her down. Her acting chops are no match for your performance in My Father, The Hero. Besides, you're hot, she's not. Izzy:I don't know. How much money do you have? McSteamy:Is five bucks enough? Izzy:How about ten? McSteamy:It's a deal.
And they leave. Cut to Christina sitting next to Dr. Burke.
Christina:What the fuck was I thinking. I'm the best actress in this joint. I was in Sideways, you know? Dr. Burke:Yea, screw you bitch. I was stuck doing Wild Things 2. Christina:Hey, it could be worse. You could have been like McDreamy - you know, doing Fast Times - not even the movie version but the TV version. Dr. Burke:You know, you're right. And I think I'm going to go kick his ass for acting in that worthless piece of shit 80's TV show. Christina:Don't break your hand Dr. Fucktard. Dr. Burke:You know that's all acting, right? And if I break my hand I can still pretend to do surgery. Christina:I'm not a fucking idiot Burke. I just mean you'll need it later to spank your spicket because you've been in nothing impressive. Nobody here is going to have sex with you. Dr. Burke:Damn.
And that's the conclusion of tonight's episode of Grey's Anatomy. Stay tuned next week when Meredith sleeps with yet another stranger in a bar, McSteamy gets the clap, and McDreamy and George move to another country where they can legally be man and man.
Ok, I guess I should leave the writing up to the professionals and stop now before I really kill the show.
Have a nice weekend everybody! And, Kim, I'll see you tomorrow at the candle thingy.
OH!! I almost forgot!!
GO BEARS!! Let's go 8 and 0 against Miami Sunday!!
