... Hey blog fags, I'm back at work today - not sure for how long. I still feel really nasty. But, I showed up and I'm going to get everything done I can possibly get done then I'm going to go home and crawl back into my bed and make the world just disappear.
But, not before I tell you a little embarrassing fact about myself. I can't be trusted around car keys or cigarette lighters. It's true. And, if you ever meet me in person you better keep your keys on you at all times because they will disappear.
It started out innocently enough. Last Friday night, as you all know already, my husband, Dennis, had his last show with his band. Singer Chick and Bass Player Guy met me at our house so we could all drive together - rather than having 3 cars in one place, there would only be 2. Of course, it was threatening to storm all day last Friday and I found out a very interesting fact about this show when Dennis called me around 4:00pm Friday afternoon. The conversation went something like this:
Dennis:Wow, I think we might actually get rained out tonight. Me:What do you mean rained out? How can you get rained out? Dennis:Well, it is outside you know. Me:Ummm....no, you failed to mention that to me in the past 2 months you knew about this show. Dennis:Oh, well, yea, it's outside. But we'll be under the amphitheater. Me:Oh, that's great. So the rest of us are pretty much fucked then? Dennis:Yea, that seems to be the situation. Me:Ok, well, I'll see ya later. Dennis:Oh, can you bring me a cord I really need before we start playing at 7:30? Me: Sure, ok, yea, whatever. Dennis:Oh, and by the way, there will be no alcohol served at this gay concert. Me:Fucking figures. Dennis:Yea, I know.
So, I have to be there before 7:30. Singer Chick and Bass Player Guy are meeting me at my house at 6:00. Singer Chick gets there right at 6:00, but Bass Player Guy is running a little bit late. So, he arrives and everything is good, we're hitting the door. But, what the fuck, Singer Chick can't find her keys. We look everywhere, waste about 15 minutes looking for these fucking keys. I'm convinced that she locked her keys in the car - but she looks in the car and no, they're not there. No keys. I'm thinking - What the Fuck did she do with her fucking keys? Jesus. She was only in my living room and bathroom - how fucking far could they have gotten? So, I'm yanking off cushions from the couch thinking the couch ate them - but no. I'm thinking - oh well. Well have to find them when we get back because we're already running way too fucking late. I reach into my purse to grab my keys but what do I pull out instead? Singer Chicks keys. They look like my keys enough. I must have grabbed them, thinking they were mine, and stuck them in my purse. So, we waste about 20 minutes because of my stupid ass.
We do wind up making it there just in time and the show was incredible! We got drenched, tho, so we were all wet from the little bit of rain that came down. Fast forward to later, when we tell Dennis we'll meet him at home and we'll go buy some booze. We stop at the Jewel about 5 miles down the road from home. Of course, I have a Jewel-Osco preferred card on my keyring so I use it when we ring up at the automatic checkout lane. Everything is good, we head back to our house. We get to our house and guess what? I can't find my fucking keys!! And Dennis is still a good 2 hours from getting home. What the fuck could I have done with my keys? FUCK!!! I left them sitting at the checkout lane at the store!! Holy hell, I hope they're still open!!
Fortunately, they were and we went back to get my keys. Dennis got home, we all got trashed, and life was good. Although, I do now know why I've been feeling like shit since Saturday. My brother in law, that was filming the entire show and hanging out right next to us, had the flu all week long. Asshole. Stay the fuck away from people if you're sick!!
