Do you ever wonder looking at the days headlines who decides what is news and what is not? I mean, let's take a look at what the big stories of the day are:
Britney, darling, I don't care what color you dye your hair. You're still a white trash skank hoor and nobody wants to see you naked - pregnant or not. And, seriously, how much airbrushing did they have to do on this to get you to look like that anyway? Me thinks I should get into the airbrushing photos business.
Weren't you just whining about not wanting more publicity and wanting the paparazzi to leave you alone on your interview with Matt Lauer? What a way to keep a low profile. Yea, this should do it.
*yawn* Seriously, does anybody care at all about this? She's come back, like, 100 times already in the past 25 years. And does anybody even watch soap operas anymore? They are so....passe.
Soap stars always go back to the soaps. Oh, sure, they think that they're going to move on and do feature films or even a television series or two. Or even co-host a morning talk show with Regis. But, we all know that, most of the time, they have to go right back to the old Soap mill. Genie, you're no Demi Moore. Stick with the Soaps and learn to accept it.
Ok, so this is like so obvious it's not even funny. You have Uncle Fester living with the biggest skank known to skankdom. She even makes Britney look like a fucking rocket scientist. I feel so bad for the unfortunate souls that have to be their neighbors.
Ok, now this one had me laughing my ass off. So, this judge is on trial for pumping his dick while sitting on the bench. I guess now we know why they wear those flowing robes. God knows what they have going on underneath them.
Who hasn't seen this scenario played out, like, a thousand times. I hate it when I fall asleep in prison at night and wake up with a lightbulb shoved up my ass.
It doesn't look like a lightbulb to me, sorry. Or, it's a very small lightbulb. Either way, if it had been one of those fucking things I stick in my lamp at home it would have broken apart in his sorry ass 2 seconds later. I can't even unscrew one without it shattering into a zillion pieces. (edited to say, I can finally make out the light bulb stuck up his ass on this xray. That has to feel great.)
I wonder how much I could get for myself and my Mustang? Maybe that and a dollar will get me a cup of coffee. Not Starbucks coffee though. I still wouldn't be able to afford that.
And there you have it. Stolen from today's headlines.
I wonder what tomorrow has in store for us - Maybe they'll finally figure out a way to get that gerbil out of Richard Gere's ass.
Very best site. Keep working. Will return in the near future.
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