Or, at least they can be. But not on a regular basis.
Drunk people bother me. You can't understand what they're saying and they usually just down right annoy me. I don't like being around drunk people, I don't like dealing with drunk people, and I don't like the way drunk people smell. But, there is a stipulation to this rule. If the drunk people buy you drinks then they can stay. But, there is another little known rule that is actually an extension of the previous rule – drunk chicks are ok if I am in fact drunk as well.
Case in point. Some friends we haven't seen in a real long time stop over Saturday night. They aren't drinking because Singer Friend is on a diet that doesn't allow her to drink which means that Singer Friend's husband isn't supposed to drink either. Which is ok since we don't push our alcoholic beliefs on other people. So, after I convince Singer Friend that any diet that doesn't allow you to drink any alcohol at all or eat anything with salt, sugar, or basically anything that doesn’t taste like cardboard just doesn’t work, she decided to loosen up a bit and enjoy a nice lite beer. One lite beer later she suggested hitting up the little place down the street for another drink. Which, would have been fine, however there was one little problem with this agenda. I’m friends (or should say former friends) with the owner of said Little Place Down the Street and we’re not on real friendly terms as of late. So, we go to Other Place Down the Street which is about ½ a block further than Little Place Down the Street.
So, we finally arrive in the overly crowded parking lot and make way into the dump (and I mean that in a kind way – said Other Place Down the Street actually smells like an outhouse) and there’s this incredibly horrible, terrible band playing there that doesn’t know what a key is and has the nerve to ask for a 3 dollar cover. So, we pay the cover and walk into said dump. After careful observation and realizing that there is only one full set of teeth in said dump between all of the classy patrons smelling up the joint, we decided one drink would be about 2 drinks time longer than we actually wanted to partake in this horrible experience in the first place. Unfortunately, a photographer from Wazzap (a cheesy little paper that is distributed throughout all the bars in the county just so everybody can see what an idiot you are when you’re drunk) catches us before we leave and makes us pose for a few cheesy pictures (which I will have to post once they are published).
We finally get out of said hell hole and my goofy hubby suggests that we go ahead and have a drink at the original Little Place Down the Street. And we thought that it couldn’t get any worse? Guess what? We were so wrong!! The minute we walk into Little Place Down the Street we realize that there is a bar fight going on inside. Great. Terrific. What every Saturday Night needs, right? We take a seat before the fists start flying only to discover that we are sitting in the worst place possible. We barely escape being pummeled by these two drunk idiots fighting over God knows what and decided to make our escape before consuming even one drink. Of course owner and my (previous) friend of Little Place Down the Street comes out while we’re leaving and can’t possibly understand why we don’t want to hang out *duh*.
We decide to try one more place. Which is the Bowling Alley Down the Street that has a Cool Bar. Now, normally on a Saturday night said Bowling Alley Down the Street that has a Cool Bar usually has a cool band. Not this Saturday night. It’s DJ night (oh, yay) which means, you guessed it. Drunk college chicks and drunk college guys. We decide it has to be better than where we’ve been so we actually order a drink. While we are enjoying said drink a dunk chick walks up to us and started talking in her native drunk college chick tongue (heavily slurred). We had no idea what she is saying nor do we really care. That is until she says, “Let me buy my new best friends a drink.”. Ummm….ok friend!!! So, this girl winds up buying us drinks all night. She wouldn’t stop!! She wouldn’t take no for an answer and she definitely wouldn’t allow us to buy one for her. What is it about drunk people that makes them spend all their money on booze on other people in a bar? I believe it’s an act of God that makes us all believe in a higher power of some kind. But, in reality it’s probably more along the lines that she’s a rich drunk college chick. But, who cares right? We’re getting free booze!!!!!
Proud? We didn't ask her to keep buying us drinks and we told her to stop but she kept doing it. And she wouldn't take the drinks we bought her. Did you want us to abuse alcohol and not drink it? WTF?
I did that once. Got wasted at a bar and spent about $300 bucks on a bar tab that night buying other people drinks. I'll never do that again!